Ninfa Ann Moritz, age 86 of Overland Park, KS passed away Sunday, December 2, 2018 peacefully at home surrounded by her family and dogs. Her Memorial Mass will be celebrated, Wednesday, December 19, 2018 at 6:00p.m. at Cure of Ars Catholic Church, 9401 Mission Road, Leawood, KS 66206 with the visitation preceding from 5:00 – 6:00p.m..   Memorial contributions may be made at www.catholiccharitiesks.org  please direct them to Adoption Services or Community Hospice or to the sisters she loved, the Presentation of the Blessed Virgin Mary Sisters at www.dubuquepresentations.org or  to www.harvesters.org  and be sure to donate a LOT of food because she always wanted to feed everyone. 

Mom always said “my life began when I met your father”.   After only 5 weeks of dating Dad proposed, but had to muster up the courage to ask her father, a formidable presence in Kansas City in the day.   It was at this typical Italian Sunday late afternoon supper that Dad ate his first spaghetti and learned quickly that if you cleaned your plate they’d refill it – no matter how many times you emptied it.   He also learned he would hate artichokes for the rest of his life as mom was unable to pull his nervous attention from her father long enough to keep him from eating the entire thing – all of the leaves AND even the choke! 

 When people say opposites attract this on the surface may have seemed like mom and dad.  However, from our vantage point they were really more like magnets – oppositely charged to really stick together.   They were the first to admit a lasting relationship took a recommitment to each other EVERY day.   Mom’s true relationship wisdom is best reflected in her advice given to all newlyweds.   “If you want your marriage to last…..(to the Bride)…in your life together ALWAYS allow your husband to make the big decisions that impact your family.  (and then turning to the Groom)….and if YOU want your marriage to last ALWAYS let your wife decide which are the big and which are the little decisions!”

Around their 53^rd year of marriage we had the rare opportunity to ask Dad what it was really like for a small town, Western Kansas boy to be married to an Italian city girl all these years.   His reply is exactly what Judi continues to look for in a life partner and what Steve and Jody have…  Dad reflected for just a brief moment and simply stated, “I’ve never been bored!”

Their relationship was rooted in faith and continually grew in faith.  Together they started each day saying “This is the day the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad”.   When they decided to start a family they made the commitment to raise any children with a strong sense of home prioritizing a stable upbringing without moving them around so they would really know roots.  When they realized their family would come via adoption they did all possible to prove to the process at the time that they could and would be amazing parents.   Catholic social services (now Catholic Charities) first brought them toe-headed, Stephen Mark, who then made the mistake of asking for a baby sister so they got, Judi Ann, a few months after his request.   While we both know there must have been some couponing involved with obtaining us, there has never been a moment we didn’t know the limitlessness of their love for us.  As they put it from our earliest memories, no matter how deep their love was for us, there were two women out there who loved us even more to give us to them.  Mom and Dad made sure we knew the deepest and most unselfish type of love – that extended to us from our birth mothers.   Mom also would say to us a favored adoption verse, “Not flesh of my flesh, nor bone of my bone….still miraculously my own. Never forget for a single minute, you grew not under my heart, but in it.”    So while after school specials and made for TV movies would like people to believe adopted children have security issues, we, and all who know us, will beg to differ because of the depth of the love from Mom and Dad.   We knew to the very last breath that every bit of mom’s life-force was expended on the love of her husband, children, grand-children and great grand-children.   Mom’s love of her grandchildren and great grandchildren was literally what kept her alive for the past two years. Matter of fact any “family related” event such as new baby, wedding or graduation is what Mom would mentally circle then count down the time one day at a time. Once that event arrived she immediately turned her focus to the next life event. 

From the moment her first grandson, Stephen Mathew, arrived Steve and Judi knew they’d be moved to the “backseat” for good.   Mom loved saying she’d been recycled as she returned to her designated seat in the bleachers.  She made Stephen promise that no matter how big he got he’d never be too big to sit on her lap.   Sure in the end we literally couldn’t see mom underneath Stephen and he can do squats like nobody, but he kept his promise and she adored every second of sharing his life, seeing him find a life partner, Melissa, and blessing her (and the rest of us) with his own son, Mark.   Mom was clinging to the hope of seeing their second child, Savannah, due in February.  However, she couldn’t wait for Savannah to actually get here so beware Stephen and Melissa, Grandma is cooking up some fun with Savannah coming your way!

Mom’s second grandchild, Kristin Marie, arrived on the scene and immediately held the place of highest honor.   Kristin, “The Queen” and Grandma were two of kind and could carry on entire conversations with fewer words than the rest of us.   Kristin knew her Grandma so well that often mom would call Kristin to help her remember where something was in her own house!  Keeping the “royal” line of the family strong, Kristin gave mom and dad their first great grandchild, Gabrielle Ann.  While unfortunately, Kristin quickly learned what the “backseat” felt like, she retained her status as “Queen” and had the rare opportunity for Grandma, now GiGi, to have a few quality years passing along her tricks to Gabby and getting into more trouble with the next generation.

Her third grandchild, Michael Rives, “Glowworm”, was indeed the “triple delight” for Grandma.   When Michael arrived she had mastered the role of Grandma and quickly became Grandma to ALL of his friends as well.   While the rest of us nearly starved to death (yea…right!) there were always “Michael’s” cookies in the cookie jar or loaded to take to school or just because he was coming by! 

Mom also tremendously enjoyed the fur grandkids of Judi’s.   Martini’s favorite toy was grandma and so it was a very special moment as he lay ever so gently next to Mom immediately following her passing.   We dog people know he helped her over “the bridge” as she was greeted by her fur babies who went before her on the path to being reunited with her entire family. 

Mom’s parents and all of her siblings preceded her in death.  She was born and raised in the greater Kansas City area and always held a deep love for this area.  A tour around town with mom was always entertaining and we never bothered to check the details as mom’s version of history we knew was more exciting and worth repeating as fact.  She was the youngest and most spoiled of 6 children born to Louis Frank Alagna and Mary Eula Fuller.  Sadly they lost one brother as an infant and then their mother when she was only eight which makes their reunion in Heaven extremely special.  She adored her big brothers idolizing both Frank and Joe who had their work cut out for them having the trio of sisters they had.  

To say VooVoo, Mimi, and Pootie, “The Golden Girls” where the stuff that legends are made of is an understatement.   Few who knew one didn’t know all three.  They knew how to define fun and the antics and ornery shenanigans continued to the very end.   Our friends even frequently asked before coming over if Mimi and Voovoo would be there too.  Shortly after high school mom even seized an opportunity to teach some of Judi’s friends additional “basement” verses of some of the high school songs while VooVoo gave a thorough demonstration and lesson on properly shot-gunning a beer!  Mimi was typically busy ensuring we all got any available extra dessert unless she was already occupied sneaking one of her nieces or nephews out of school for shopping or golf.  We never minded when mom and dad or mom and her sisters crashed our parties – we secretly hoped they would, but of course had to maintain appearances among other teens.  We even got to see her grandkids experience the legendary skills of Grandma when at Stephen’s college graduation she set an (informal) KSU record for a beer bong – at least among grandparents!

She is also preceded in death by her sister-in-laws Clara Murry and Pauline McNeal…a crafting trio to put Martha Stewart to shame.  Additionally, going before her were brother-in-laws, Jim McNeal, Bill Murry, George Gilliam, and Stein Barthol who all held a very special place in her heart and helped her stir up trouble on a moment’s notice from ridiculous amounts of homemade ice cream, to returning foot long hotdogs because they didn’t measure up, to finding anything and everything to feed “invading Indians”.  (Distant adored cousins of the Ponca City Indians) 

Aunt Pootie was close to her nieces and nephews and frequently in as much trouble as they were due to her instigating the trouble.  But, she played a key role in their formative and educational years ensuring they knew they had a brain bone, kept up with the most popular music, and never went to bed with gum in their mouths – valuable life lessons!  She was heartbroken with the loss of a treasured nephew, Michael Barthol, whom we are confident she is making enchiladas for, with onions, at this moment.   And don’t be deceived by “global warming” as from here on it could just be these two battling it out playing “pull my finger”!

Mom defined hospitality…one of moms favorite bibles verses was Hebrews 13:2 “Do not neglect hospitality, for through it some have unknowingly entertained angels.”  This meant in reality we never had to ask for a friend to stay for dinner.   She knew how to stretch a dollar a million ways and while staying within a tight budget made our parties the most coveted among our friends.  At this time on behalf of the entire family we admit, YES, mom created the egg mcmuffin, the California raisin craze, frito chili pie, designer pancakes, nuts and bolts (named changed to Chex Mix to fool the public) and the original Frisbee which we all know started out as single-ply paper plates being flung across the room at slumber parties.   The real reason Joe, Steve and Judi have an “angelic glow” (just go with us on this one) is because she had to have the very first known microwave in the Midwest.  Neighbors will recall the power drain on the local transformers as she lit up the house petrifying everything she put in the microwave that was bigger than Steve’s bedroom - this was the time the Moritz kids started bumming meals from neighbors.

Staying true to their commitment to ensure we knew strong roots, Mom also ensured our neighbors were extended family.  Our house growing up to most looked like a typical Prairie Village area 3 bedroom, one bath ranch.   However, in reality what we grew up in was about 30,000 square feet of home with bathrooms just across the street, a huge living room that went from the street light to the frontporch, burnt cookies at Linda’s, Kool-aid at Kay’s, dandelion mud pie at the Miller’s,  and any baked leftover at Doris’.  In fact, most in the area believed that when the so called tornado sirens go off one should run for shelter.  Not really, they are actually sounding the alarm to run to the Moritz basement for an impromptu party where Mom always somehow had plenty of hugs, laughs, and snacks for all.  Before mom went to work she would even let the grade school nurse send other sick kids home to our house if they had working parents.  We later found out it was so Mom and the nurse could sneak a cigarette, but the child resting comfortably never knew the difference and neither did we.

To this day, the majority of the teachers we have stayed in contact with over the years will still say their favorite years were the class of 1981 (Steve’s) and 1984 (Judi’s).  While we’d like to take credit, the fact is it was because of Mom and the parents/friends of this time.   These parents ran the PTA to support the teachers and held the position that children were guilty until proven innocent by the teacher!  They removed obstacles to allowing them to teach as best they could and if money was an issue to something to benefit the kids/teachers they found or created ways to raise the funds and entertained all in the process.   It was all of the parents who made magic happen, but we’d be lying if we didn’t acknowledge that mom was usually the ring leader!

She showed love through the food she made so when she decided to work outside the home she became the most amazing Cafeteria lady in the State of Kansas!  (We know we have her state award to prove it!)   This was the time we had to share her with every other kid that fell in love with her at every school she worked.   While many other kids may have been jealous, we knew Mom had plenty of love to go around and if she’d had her say we’d have had about 200 400 more brothers and sisters!  But, no matter how many more she found to love, at the end of the day she was always 100% ours.

She took pride in everything she did and ensured we never did anything “half-ass”.  Well, except maybe some of Steve’s Clorox Bottle Costumes!  Who knew one could make so many different hats from an empty Clorox bottle – which may explain some of Steve’s sinus problems?!  If you committed to something you followed through…period…end of discussion.  This included asking her daughter to wear her Chihuahua costume to support a local charity.   Judi was too busy at the time to get all the details beyond wear it, pick her up and they’d go from there.   So, of course when they arrived on the Plaza and mom came around to Judi’s side of the car to help with the costume.  Judi was a bit surprised to realize Mom was putting a leash on her.  When asked exactly WHAT the charity was…..   Mom started walking, tugged the leash, and said “Oh don’t be so uptight – it’s the Plaza Dog Walk and this is going to be hysterical!”    Yes, our mother walked Judi around as a dog on a leash and was the hit of the dog parade!  (Special thanks to Judi’s therapist…)

The unexpected was the magic that was Mom.   She was tough, very tough at times, and possessed a depth of love like no one else.   When she committed to something it was 200% to right a wrong, defend a child or friend, protect an innocent or step in as mother/grandmother to any child needing one.    She was a larger woman most of her life, with the longest arms on the planet, that allowed her to swallow whole children up in an embrace.   Few who received one of Mom’s hugs as a kid won’t still tell you that one of the safest places they recall as a child was inside one of Ninfa’s hugs….and she usually smelled like cookies!  

She was blessed by a lifetime of treasured friends.   She had deep friendships because she knew how to truly be a friend.  There wasn’t much she wouldn’t do for those she cared about.  There are very few people who live into their 80’s still running around and causing trouble with their best buddy from grade school, who even though lives far away now, remained close in mom’s heart always.  There are even fewer who not only still have their spouse, but also have dear friends/couples that all enjoy running around with and hitting the casinos, comparing sauce recipes, swapping biscotti, or gathering around a weekly shrimp pot!  If there was fun to be had, mom would do ANYTHING to not miss out.  If there was a lull in the action Mom would stir up a good time and deliver the goodies, the laughs, the love, and often some new made up rule to a favored game to better her odds of winning. 

Mom as you said you were always in our hearts and by God’s grace you will always be alive in the many memories, taste, and traditions you created for all of us.  You gave us the confidence, strength, and faith to take on the world and “set our goals high” and kept us from being afraid to try anything.   The best of who we are is a reflection of you.  Of course we selfishly hate to have you gone from us, but thank God you are no longer suffering and back to your full amazing self.   Don’t worry, we know just as in life you are not just our special Angel and we are as pleased and proud as we’ve always been to share you with all whom you loved and love you. Thank You for being uniquely you.  Thank You for teaching us Love, Faith, Respect, The Value of Friendship, and most importantly The Meaning of Family.

 And don’t worry….

 “God always takes care of the Moritzes!”