Getting here from there - By Gordon Davis

Inner strength was key in her transition from Cuba

The saddest and happiest times of Maria Trillo's life came within days of each other. After being permitted to leave Cuba in 1965 following the 1959 revolution, Maria's 80-year-old father, Rafael Trespalacios, realized his last wish by joining her and his beloved grandchildren at their North Cambridge, Mass., home. As Republic of Cuba refugees themselves, they had been in this country for three years.

Rafael was among the first to leave Cuba in anew airlift project. He was accompanied by his wife, Altagracia, their son Rafael (and his wife and children), and Maria's husband, Sixto.

An emotional, happy reunion occurred at my home over the weekend of my father's arrival, said Maria. On that following Monday, he took sick and died Tuesday in a hospital.

Maria's brother had urged their father to remain in Cuba and had offered to stay with him, but his last wish was to go to America to see his family.

My father stated, Then I'll be ready to die, Maria recalls.

That is but one of many trying circumstances that Maria coped with. Tenacity and inner strength were her faithful guides.

When Maria and two of her children left Cuba, they were among refugees who eventually formed a community of Cubans living in the Boston area. At the time, Boston ranked fifth in the number of refugees who had resettled from Miami. Local agencies arranged temporary housing, job placement, language classes, and additional services to help the immigrants.

Maria and her husband had owned several businesses in Havana before the revolution, including a cinema and a flower shop. But in its first year the revolutionary government expropriated much private property, with no or minimal compensation.

Maria was grateful for the opportunities she and her family had in the United States. Reaching educational goals for her children and the opportunity to rejoin her beloved husband were major moments.

Maria was a primary caregiver for Sixto in their Acton, Massachusetts home during the years in which he lived with Alzheimer's disease, until his death in 1981. Having lived in Massachusetts for 27 years she decided to follow her daughter, Merci, who was living in Arizona. Later she joined her son, manny, who had moved to the Kansas City area.

Frequent visits from her family remained memory-making events for Maria, and she cherished the family's closeness. The members supported each other through the loss of Maria's husband and a son from a previous marriage, Pedro Patino, who died in this country from cancer in 1992.

Each of life's changes brought joy and sadness to Maria. From the earning of her citizenship in the early 1990's to seeing children and grandchildren graduate from college and beyond, she savored the good times and weathered the challenges, noting that inner strength and love were key.

She leaves behind son Manny and daughter-in-law Lynda of Shawnee, Kans., and daughter Merci of Phoenix, Ariz.; grandchildren Abigail and her husband, Scott Kramer, of Prairie Village, Ks., Kristina Humphrey of Glendale, Ariz., Sandra Powell and her partner, Sean Griffin of Randolph, Mass., Elizabeth Patino of Havana, Cuba, Patino Vazquez of Randolph, Mass., Ben Trillo and his wife Lori, of Lee's Summit, Mo., Pedro Patino of Miami, Fla., and Alex Trillo, of Jersey City, New Jersey; and great-grandchildren Brittany Burns, Lucien and Mateo Patino of Mass., and Jordin Trillo of New York. A private family mass was held Friday, Jan. 29, 2010. In lieu of flowers the family suggests contributions to The Muscular Dystrophy Association or The American Lung Association.