The girl with the dancing eyes and the sweet, sweet smile has left us. Susan Bettis Smith, age 70, of Overland Park, Kansas ended her long goodbye on June 20, 2026. She was born in Dallas, Texas on Feb. 10, 1956, to Hugh and Kay Bettis. She earned her Bachelor of Arts in English at the University of Kansas and her Master of Science in Counseling Psychology from Avila University in Kansas City, Missouri. She retired from her psychotherapy practice in 2016. Susan was a past president of the Greater Kansas City Psychological Association.
The queen of Nurturing Children left a legacy of parents who raised their children with caring and nurturing. She taught scores how to control their urge to control and discipline their children without hitting or shouting, using the true root of that word – the Latin disciplina, i.e., to teach. We have healthier and happier kids in this world because of her.
Susan raised her son Matt in that same healthy and nurturing way. He was a huge part of her life and her inspiration to be a parenting consultant. She was so proud of the person he has become. Later, her granddaughter Jessalyn became just as important to Susan, especially as Jessalyn was growing up.
One cannot fight Alzheimer’s. It’s not like cancer. But you can accept it and live with it positively. And that she did. For the last six years since her diagnosis, and even before that when she began showing signs of decline, she had no anger or depression about developing such a horrible disease. She remained positive and happy. She laughed as her physical therapist worked with her to pick up cones and move them elsewhere. She couldn’t understand what she was to do. But she didn’t get frustrated. She just laughed and the therapist laughed with her. When she tried to talk but couldn’t think of the words to say (she said her nouns were just gone), she didn’t get mad or discouraged. She just smiled and said, “It’s gone.” Susan walked in the park and every 5 minutes said, “Look how blue the sky is.” As the disease progressed, she had the wonder and spirit and pure happiness of a little girl. She was a joy to be around – for everyone. She charmed everybody.
She ended on a positive note. She got to hear her sister Sharon in Portland call to say “I love you” in the day. Her son Matt and husband Steve got the call that she was declining rapidly, and the bedside vigil was to begin with only hours left. The two, along with Matt’s wife Mary, sat in her room reveling in stories of the past. A mother to the last moment, she waited for Matt to leave before she made her final decline so he wouldn’t have to see her go. As Steve sat with her in her final minutes, he recited the two verses they had repeated over and over the last 35 years, The Walrus and the Carpenter poem from Alice in Wonderland and the prologue to The Canterbury Tales. As Steve said the words, she reached for his hand (she hadn’t moved in days) and as he finished, she took one last breath. She could not have written a better ending to the book of her life. Susan’s wonderful soft voice is to be heard no more.
Susan leaves behind her husband Steve Iliff, her son Matt Smith and his wife Mary, her granddaughter Jessalyn Smith, all of Overland Park, Kansas, and her sister Sharon Bettis, of Portland, Oregon.
No formal service will take place, though a Celebration of Life will be held at a later date. The Heart of America chapter of the Alzheimer’s Association will accept donations in Susan’s name at www.alz.org or their office, 8001 Conser, #240, Overland Park, KS 66204.
